| Paper Or Plastic |
[Mar. 9th, 2004|12:09 am] |
There are so many ways I could tell you the reasons I got fired from being a grocery-bagger. I could give you "my side" and I could give your "their side", or I could give you the "surveillance camera's side". No matter which way, every reason is wrong, as well as it is also correct.
 I was either 16 years old or 26 years old, and I was bagging groceries at American Hero Foods. I was either there out of youthful exuberance, or mid-20s rehabilitation, but I was there. At least, I think I was.
You see, I have problems and sometimes my memories replace themselves with my past-tense fantasies, and vice versa. Basically, what I'm telling you is, either I actually worked at this grocery store, or at some point I just imagined I did. Either way, it's pretty interesting.
Actually, the sit-com is more interesting. Because every week we had a different celebrity as a grocery-bagger! It got to be kind of popular. I remember the episode where the "guest-bagger" was Tom Hanks and he was playing a crippled, black boy with Down's syndrome, and we were the first TV show to win an Academy Award. The producers flogged me behind the curtains each night, and I cried. I cried not because of the tremendous pain of each lash, but because I was able to personally experience a Tom Hanks performance. That dude is TOTALLY famous.
But before all that, I was just this dude bagging groceries. Sometimes I said to the boss "you know, these people need help getting their groceries into the car. Logic dictates they need a way to get them OUT." Old Man Oldman never agreed. He said it would "cause extraordinarily bad problems" if grocery baggers accompanied their customers on the ride to their homes and, ostensibly, back to the grocery store. He preached on about the myths of the "lonely housewife" and the "divorce hearings", yet we just stood there and picked our teenage or twenty-something scabs.
I had just seen the movie "Silence of the Lambs" on video-disc. Now, I've heard that everyone identifies with that movie in some way, either as the killer or the victim, but perhaps the person who told me that needs to be skinned alive and made into garment. And then adorn my shoulders as a camisole as I dance androgynously in front of a mirror to 80s synth-pop.
In my personal fantasy of the true victim of this story, I fancied my own skin being tailored into the exotic negligee of one of these SUV-driving housewives I've heard so much about, somewhere. Into the backs of many a Dodge Durango I would insist my way into – of only a few would I leave of my own effort.
(to be continued) |
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| Comments: |
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/36242855/76276) | From: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wigu
2004-03-09 06:07 am (UTC)
The deal | (Link)
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I think I'm just gonna add to this entry everyday, in the "edit" mode.
It will help it make more sense. What do you think?
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/37787804/451498) | From: 7ghent
2004-03-09 06:12 am (UTC)
Re: The deal | (Link)
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That'll work. However, it would also be nice if you posted updates with a link back to this entry, letting your faithful readers know that an update has, in fact, been made.
| From: wigu
2004-03-09 06:18 am (UTC)
Re: The deal | (Link)
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Maybe I'll just delete it everyday and re-post it with whatever is new? But that would be rude to the commenters. Thank you for your input, btw.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/44064809/160787) | From: zabieru
2004-03-09 08:48 am (UTC)
Re: The deal | (Link)
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Just re-post, with no delete? It's just text, not a great drain on anything.
PS is Hugo the same as Hugo the sandwich shop man in Scary Go Round? I am made suspicious by similarities in manner and appearance.
Hugo is a real person, any fictional version of him is merely a shadow of his true, great self. ( even his own version ) P.S. Hugo's not dead, just tax-dodging. Don't tell anyone.
you've probably already made a decision, but i thought i'd say my say. if you just continue the story as a new journal entry, i would keep reading it as i would a new chapter in a novel. i'd have no problem remembering the story up to this point, especially since it is so interesting. if i did lose my way, though, i'd just go back through your other journal entries. if there was no update on my friend's page, then i might forget to check back.
OMGOMG! I think there are like 3 bottles of ketchup in that bag- and they FLOAT. Can somebody do a Ketchup intervention, because that bag has a serious problem! Also, it is made of human skin.
no no, you don't understand.
they're wearing platforms.
I got fired as a "courtesy clerk" too.
No, no, this is the best post ever!! Past tense fantasies replacing memories and vice versa!! Woah!! 
The possibilities of changing the story line in any direction are limitless!! | |
